FROM DARKNESS - I DID IT!!

Rhika Delos Reyes
Mar 14
4 min read

My Journey as an International Student in Canada

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would finish a field of study that I never even dreamed of pursuing. For almost two years, I never thought I could. I started as a solo traveler, migrating from my second home—where I spent more than half of my life—to this new city: Toronto, Canada. Who would have thought that I will move from a comfortable life to a more challenging life journey.

Where do I even start? I arrived in Toronto at midnight on August 29, 2023, and by early morning, the first thing I did was search online for the nearest convenience store. That morning, I woke up early (think 'twas just Jetlag) I walked around, looking for a store, hoping to find even a 7-Eleven or anything familiar cause I didn't have any toiletries with me and all I wanted to do that moment was to brush my teeth. I can still remember that I didn’t even have a daily clothes to wear or what "Pambahay" so I had to buy a single shirt and boxer shorts from Dollarama, and for weeks, that was all I wore at home.

I moved to this country alone, without any guidance. For weeks, I barely had anything to sustain myself. I had no kitchen stuffs—not even a rice cooker or a pot to cook a simple meal. Bread became my daily meal because it was the cheapest option, and easiest to prepare. I had to stretch every dollar to save for my next semester’s tuition and eating out wasn’t an option. I was unintentionally on a diet, (I was forced to) and within three months, I lost over 20 kg. Fastest way to lose weight? Financial hurdles! LOL.

By mid-September, I finally got my first part-time job. I thought this was my fresh start. I believed I was finally on the right path—everything was going according to plan. But life didn't go easy on me. I was bullied at work, something I never imagined I would allow myself to endure. When I was in Singapore, even my boss wouldn't dare speak to me like this, they know I will fight back like hell. Every day felt like stepping into a nightmare. My supervisor constantly scolded and shouted at me in front of our customers. I worked at Subway, and no matter how hard the job was, I did not to quit. Not until my manager stopped scheduling me for shifts. To make things worse, they never paid me for almost a month of work. I didn't fight back because I felt I had no right to.

Those were some of the worst experiences I faced, but they weren’t the only ones. I encountered a lot of traumatic situations in public transportation—people spat on me, I even experienced physical abuse in the subway. One time, a man forcefully pressed my head against the bus window, and I just stared at him, numb! I could no longer distinguish between safety and danger. I was so exhausted, both physically and mentally, that I had no energy left to feel fear, or to feel any emotion.

By October 2023, only my second month in Canada, I had reached the darkest and lowest point of my life. Though I was never clinically diagnosed, but if that's not depression, I don't know what else it was. Every evening, I locked myself in my basement room, terrified of the darkness outside. I forced myself to sleep, waiting for the morning to come. I don't have anyone that I could talk to, that would understand what I was going through. That entire month, I battled my mental health alone, I fought like hell alone. All I did was cry and pray for this phase of my life to be over.

During those times, I had no one beside me. My family never knew what I was going through because I didn’t want to hear them say, "I told you so." I refused to let them think I had made a mistake moving here. Instead, I reminded myself that not every day is a rainy day. The sun would shine again one day—I just had to endure this season of my life.

I ended 2023 with countless horror stories, but those struggles shaped the person I am today. What I’ve shared here is just about 30% of everything I’ve been through since day one. Entering 2024, I couldn’t say that my challenges had stopped, but I could say that I had learned how to handle them better.

Fast forward to today—2025—standing at my graduation ceremony, surrounded by the people I love, I look back at my journey with a sense of awe. I survived my two-year program without ever knowing where I would get my tuition for the next semester. Even now, I still ask myself, "Where did I find the strength to survive all of that?"

Not everything went according to my plan—perhaps only 50% of it did. But I won every battle with 110% of my strength. I learned that life doesn’t always go the way I want, and that’s normal, that's okay.

I am incredibly grateful for the people who stood by me—my family, my friends, and most especially, my partner, who constantly reminded me to keep going. Many people left me during my struggles, but life also sent new people into my path who became my strength.

One day, I will share these stories with those who need motivation and encouragement to keep going. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: No matter how dark life gets, don’t give up. Because I didn’t—and I made it through, and so are you.

To anyone struggling today—keep fighting. Your sun will shine again. Let me share some photos from my journey and the people who never left my side.